You always hear "Pick your battles" and "Don't sweat the small stuff" when it comes to raising little ones.
How true.
The usually cooperative Elias is now in a "no" phase. No going to the toilet, no naps, no baths or showers, no bedtime and today no lunch (unless on the sofa at which point is was mummy's turn to say "no").
Now. I am a bit extreme in my sticking to a routine and wanting everyone to follow it. Someone in this family once compared it to a military operation. I took that as a compliment, go figure. So this "no" business is sending me into fits of anxiety because it totally throws off The Routine. In an attempt to stick to The Routine, we have recently had screaming showers, yelling bedtimes and very vocal pee pees and I have become a frazzled mess.
And then I thought: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?
Elias is nearly 3. He is little. God in heaven. I am super tired and often lacking in originality, just wanting to get the bathroom, feeding, bathing stuff over with so that we can get on with the other stuff. Well that must be really crap for him, let's not mince words here. So I started thinking. I gave myself a talking to. I listened to a nice mum at the park and I changed tack. Here's what's happening so far:
Bathtime. One day we went with no bath, just a wipedown and a bit more on the smelly bits. I mean who cares if a kid goes without a bath, he's 3 for Chrissake and on holiday! Even if he is dirty from the park and the mosquito spray and the sweat, wipe the kid down and forget about it! The next day I just said to him he didn't need to take a bath but to come in the bathroom anyway. When Xavi and I began blowing bubbles in the bath, next thing you know, Elias was fully in the tub and having a great time.
Meals. I draw the line at eating in the living room so pasta on the sofa no way. But I was getting into a tug-of-war "either you eat your pasta at the table or you don't eat" scenario and then I thought OK, mummy, get a grip. I canned the perfect lunch idea by looking at the tired and hungry and stubborn 2-year-old that he is and softened. I offered him crappy, processed cheese slices - to hell with the pasta (that he had specifically requested but hey, I won't hold him accountable for these things just yet!). Then I had a lightbulb moment and I got out the cookie cutters and made sandwiches in the shape of dinosaurs, a giraffe and a couple of dogs. He wolfed them down. The pasta got eaten by daddy. Xavi participated by watching the show, bemused and getting in and out of his highchair 25 times. It was cool.
Bed & naptime. We have skipped naps. It's not entirely unsuccessful in that it's been OK save for a couple of meltdowns due to exhaustion (his meltdowns that is!). Yesterday at bedtime I said OK, let's go to the bedroom but you don't need to sleep. Of course he conked out. I am still a bit stuck on this not wanting to go to bed one, but I manage to get around it although it is a bit of a challenge. That said, it's normal - the gadzillions of stories aboout kids getting up 200 times for water, another story, a toilet run, etc. etc. are all over the place so whatever.
The toilet. I have given up on getting him to go on command so I just throw a change of shorts and underpants in the bag and go. Unless he is holding it in (and risking a bladder infection) he'll be fine. I tried an interesting book that we only read in the bathroom as a lure to go when I want him to (i.e. before we go out and before bed - the other times I don't bug him about it at all) but that didn't last too long. He had to do pee pee in the park the other day and didn't really enjoy that so hopefully this will not continue to be a big issue. Worst case scenario is he wets himself or the bed - and hey, so what? He'll learn and we'll all be less stressed out!
So if we end up eating sandwiches for weeks, or not properly bathing, sleeping or not, and needing to whizz up a tree so be it. Life is too short. Pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff but above all, try and make things fun and positive and don't get into inane tugs of war for the sake of it!
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