Monday 30 January 2012
Why I Don't Call You or Socialise
OK. I am going to try to make this a nice post.
First just want to say I am not complaining. My choices are mine and I made them. Any circumstances that are out of my control, i.e. that are not due to my choices are, well, out of my control. So no complaining.
I do not call people for chats very often. I never go out. I never socialise. I never go for a wander around town. I do not go to office drinks after work. I do not invite people over either.
Here is why.
OUR DAY
6:00 René leaves the house
5:30 to 6:30 I wake up and creep out of bed where, inevitably, the kids are sleeping. I try not to wake them. Used to be impossible as Xavi is the lightest sleeper ever but now he sleeps through me getting up.
6:30 to 7:00 I have tea, "me" time, shower (or at night) and begin getting ready
7:00 Elias wakes up and gets up or I carry him to the sofa. He watches TV and has breakfast while I get ready. I get him dressed. We do the bathroom routine.
7:00 to 7:30 Xavi gets up. I get him ready - bathroom, dressed, fed.
8:15 or 8:35 We leave the house. Elias dressed and ready with bag. Xavi dressed and ready with bag, me dressed and ready with bag, down two flights of stairs, Xavi in stoller, Elias on buggyboard and out the door. We go to nursery where I take both boys in, we check what's for lunch, go up a flight of stairs, we take Elias to his classroom, jacket off and in locker, kisses and hopefully no tears (he cried from September to January - it was really upsetting).
Afterwards Xavi and I go down again, back into the stroller and we go to the bakery to get Xavi's bread because he doesn't eat when he gets up. He munches in the stroller as we go to daycare. Sound smooth but keep in mind they are 1 and 3 so things can get challenging sometimes!
Daycare drop off (out of the stroller, up 2 more flights of stairs, either I go in or drop off at the door). Hopefully he doesn't cry either (usually not).
Then I walk to the train station.
Get to Milan, take tram, bus, bike-sharing or walk to get to work.
I work.
I leave work, return to the station, take train to Saronno.
I go straight from the station to daycare by 6:00 pm latest, where both Xavi and Elias are waiting for me. (René has picked Elias up at 3:30 from nursery, taken him home then taken him out again to daycare at about 5:00 so he can go work the evening shift).
Get two kids ready, down the stairs, one in stroller, one on buggyboard then walk home. We're gettin' tired...
Get home, get out of the stroller, up the stairs, get in. Mad rush to get kids eating by 7:00. I make dinner and make sure they stay safe while I do so! We eat. I vaguely clean up. Then straight to the bathroom for the evening bathroom routine and then PJs on and a bit of playing, YouTube etc. [oh, by the way, insert overtired meltdowns or at least resistance here - 100% justified, mine included!!]
8:30 to 9:00 in bed. Read books, chat and lights out. I lie down with them till theyyzzzzzz
René gets home at a certain point - maybe he sees them, maybe not.
Often I wake up at midnight (if Xavi's not woken up before then anyway - still not a great sleeper) because I've conked out, and brush my teeth and get a few things ready for the next day.
Did I mention Xavi does still wake up at least twice a night? And I don't mind by the way but just saying... Better than a year ago!!
ANYTHING else I have to fit in. Like paying bills, going to various offices or whatever etc. etc.
The weekend it is imperative that the grocery shopping and laundry is done. I cannot go to the supermarket during the week and I will not iron at midnight.
Plus we have family time the 4 of us at the weekend and we bloody sleep too.
So there you go. So, next time you say to me, "Yes, why is it that you never come out?" well....
Sunday 8 January 2012
Holiday recap
Well Christmas came and went. We survived intact.
The first week was a tired blur, doing things deemed compulsory. Presents, tradition, Christmas dinner. The presents were fun. Elias liked his of course. Xavi liked the world. I still think I like Lego more than the two of them pput together. "Will you play with me mummy?" always gets a "Sure honey!" answer from me because that way we (I) build a Lego fire station, train ticket office, old man's house, Sheriff's office (complete with missile launcher) and mechanics. And train track. What? Christmas dinner was me - did it all, it was eaten but at that point I was so tired I just wanted the day to end really. In a nice but tired way. My mum was too "distracted" to realise I was doing everything and what it all entailed, René was busy with mum and the kids and anyway, he's a man and has no idea and the kids were too small. I was pleased with it though...
Mum was OK. She is lovely and difficult. She is forgetting things and becoming defensive. She doesn't fully trust me with her affairs (= money) so that is hard to handle. She says things, not nice things, and forgets having said them. She resists my attempts to help because she want to understand, but she cannot understand and then we get frustrated. She refuses to give in, even a leeeetle. And I am not a sweetie pie - I have too many things to do in my life and just need to get them done, my way. Sounds cold but that is the truth. I need to do everything the way I know will work so that everyone is taken care of and I maintain my sanity. Ho hum. That said she did let me do some telephone banking for her. She forgot a whole bunch of what we did and then wrote a complex email to me about it but at least it has been started.
René was a SAINT with my mother. Thank you!!!!!
After mum left and René went back to work, it was nearly two glorious weeks with the kids. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We did all sorts of things. Walks - Xavi's learning to hold hands which is a relief as he was prone to pulling and collapsing in a stubborn lump, then vehemently protesting when I tried to put him back in the pushchair which was infuriating!! If I am alone with 2 kids walking I need them to hold hands or else it is dangerous. I prefer one in the pushchair and one walking otherwise if one freaks out, I cannot cope. So Xavi's recent lightbulb moment that holding hands and walking is cool makes our lives a lot easier!
We went to the park every day. Mother Nature was good to us. Great. No people in the park either. Italians think their children will get triple pneumonia or worse, dirty (!!) in a muddy winter park. We, on the other hand, bundle up and take boots and have a great time squelching in the mud and sliding down the muddle slide. My washing machine works, don't know about the rest of 'em.
We went to the perennial supermarket. Elias walking with the pull-along trolley and Xavi in the pushchair or Xavi in the cart and Elias walking. Taking bags, Elias and Xavi up the escalator is a challenge but we managed.
We built wonderful Lego towns.
We watched English DVDs.
We marvelled at Xavi's talking. Wow. He's good. Commentaries as well as instructions. "Papa, move please, pie" (pie=foot in Spanish). Gracias." or "Open the door mummy."
We marvelled at Elias who is forever sweet and funny and gorgeous. He was soooo tired at the end of term. He rested a lot over the break. But he still hates baths.
That is about it really. Nothing too thrilling but lovely. I dread going back to work tomorrow and am already counting the days till our next breaks (35 working days till a long weekend at the end of February - that will be a tough slog - then 30 days till a ten day Easter break then things get easier - days get longer and warmer so the remaining 40ish till summer term and then 3 weeks till nice summer holidays in August won't seem so bad. Right? RIGHT?).
Tomorrow marks the return to nursery for Elias. I expect tears. He point blank does not like it. Too much noise is his main compaint. The kids overwhelm him. The many adults. I totally sympathise. Shite. I feel bad for him. That said he did grow up a lot over the break so maybe, just maybe, things will get better for him there sooner rather than later. Awww.
I have to remember how lucky I am. That I could have all this time over Christmas with them instead of working. That we had a good time. No, a great time. And that life has to go on, hurdles have to be conquered, I have to drop two little boys off tomorrow who will both probably cry when I leave them and then drag myself to a job that pays me too little but you know, I have the boys, I have the job and I have so much more. "Count your blessings!" my very Anglican grandfather used to say and I do, albeit probably to a different God (who is yet to be completely defined but that's another long story and it includes Elvis the African priest - not kidding...).
Happy New Year one and all and here's to 2012!!
The first week was a tired blur, doing things deemed compulsory. Presents, tradition, Christmas dinner. The presents were fun. Elias liked his of course. Xavi liked the world. I still think I like Lego more than the two of them pput together. "Will you play with me mummy?" always gets a "Sure honey!" answer from me because that way we (I) build a Lego fire station, train ticket office, old man's house, Sheriff's office (complete with missile launcher) and mechanics. And train track. What? Christmas dinner was me - did it all, it was eaten but at that point I was so tired I just wanted the day to end really. In a nice but tired way. My mum was too "distracted" to realise I was doing everything and what it all entailed, René was busy with mum and the kids and anyway, he's a man and has no idea and the kids were too small. I was pleased with it though...
Mum was OK. She is lovely and difficult. She is forgetting things and becoming defensive. She doesn't fully trust me with her affairs (= money) so that is hard to handle. She says things, not nice things, and forgets having said them. She resists my attempts to help because she want to understand, but she cannot understand and then we get frustrated. She refuses to give in, even a leeeetle. And I am not a sweetie pie - I have too many things to do in my life and just need to get them done, my way. Sounds cold but that is the truth. I need to do everything the way I know will work so that everyone is taken care of and I maintain my sanity. Ho hum. That said she did let me do some telephone banking for her. She forgot a whole bunch of what we did and then wrote a complex email to me about it but at least it has been started.
René was a SAINT with my mother. Thank you!!!!!
After mum left and René went back to work, it was nearly two glorious weeks with the kids. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We did all sorts of things. Walks - Xavi's learning to hold hands which is a relief as he was prone to pulling and collapsing in a stubborn lump, then vehemently protesting when I tried to put him back in the pushchair which was infuriating!! If I am alone with 2 kids walking I need them to hold hands or else it is dangerous. I prefer one in the pushchair and one walking otherwise if one freaks out, I cannot cope. So Xavi's recent lightbulb moment that holding hands and walking is cool makes our lives a lot easier!
We went to the park every day. Mother Nature was good to us. Great. No people in the park either. Italians think their children will get triple pneumonia or worse, dirty (!!) in a muddy winter park. We, on the other hand, bundle up and take boots and have a great time squelching in the mud and sliding down the muddle slide. My washing machine works, don't know about the rest of 'em.
We went to the perennial supermarket. Elias walking with the pull-along trolley and Xavi in the pushchair or Xavi in the cart and Elias walking. Taking bags, Elias and Xavi up the escalator is a challenge but we managed.
We built wonderful Lego towns.
We watched English DVDs.
We marvelled at Xavi's talking. Wow. He's good. Commentaries as well as instructions. "Papa, move please, pie" (pie=foot in Spanish). Gracias." or "Open the door mummy."
We marvelled at Elias who is forever sweet and funny and gorgeous. He was soooo tired at the end of term. He rested a lot over the break. But he still hates baths.
That is about it really. Nothing too thrilling but lovely. I dread going back to work tomorrow and am already counting the days till our next breaks (35 working days till a long weekend at the end of February - that will be a tough slog - then 30 days till a ten day Easter break then things get easier - days get longer and warmer so the remaining 40ish till summer term and then 3 weeks till nice summer holidays in August won't seem so bad. Right? RIGHT?).
Tomorrow marks the return to nursery for Elias. I expect tears. He point blank does not like it. Too much noise is his main compaint. The kids overwhelm him. The many adults. I totally sympathise. Shite. I feel bad for him. That said he did grow up a lot over the break so maybe, just maybe, things will get better for him there sooner rather than later. Awww.
I have to remember how lucky I am. That I could have all this time over Christmas with them instead of working. That we had a good time. No, a great time. And that life has to go on, hurdles have to be conquered, I have to drop two little boys off tomorrow who will both probably cry when I leave them and then drag myself to a job that pays me too little but you know, I have the boys, I have the job and I have so much more. "Count your blessings!" my very Anglican grandfather used to say and I do, albeit probably to a different God (who is yet to be completely defined but that's another long story and it includes Elvis the African priest - not kidding...).
Happy New Year one and all and here's to 2012!!
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